40+ Funny Quotes for Cremation Urns

There is a certain type of person who will always be remembered with a smile and a laugh. Their sense of humor, joy, and wit require a cremation urn with a funny quote or saying on it.

With this “special” someone in mind, here are more than forty funny quotes for cremation urns or headstones to inspire you with the perfectly dry and darkly humorous epitaph for your loved one.

Use these quotes on an urn, or just take a minute to enjoy a break from the seriousness of life and give you a chuckle. Read on!

Funny Quotes for Your Epitaph

A. First person quotes

Don’t make me come out there!

I have nothing further to say.

Joke’s over… let me out NOW!

Wife, Friend, Love, Psycho

Dang it’s dark in here

I knew this would happen

Are you happy now?

I made some good deals
And I made some bad ones.
I really went in the hole with this one.

Now I know something you don’t!

I told you I was sick

Reincarnating… I’ll be right back

I’ll be back

Bye

Don’t laugh… you’re next

I came here without being consulted
And I leave without my consent

I’d rather be shopping

I’d rather be hunting

Gone Fishing

Follow me at your own risk

It was fun while it lasted

I’ve achieved Step One to becoming a zombie

2. Second person quotes

You have a whole eternity to think inside the box

Are you happy now?

Bye

It does my heart a world of good
To see you in a box of wood

You’ve achieved Step One to becoming a zombie

You have reached your final destination

D. Third person quotes

The shell is here but the nut is gone.

Here rests [name], second-fastest draw in [city or state]

He Loved Bacon.
Oh, and his wife and kids too.

Another One Bites the Dust

He had some faults and many merits
He died of drinking ardent spirits

On the 22nd of June
[Name] went out of tune

Kaput

Raised Four Beautiful Daughters
With Only One Bathroom
Still There Was Love

Vacancy

Game Over

Died From Not Forwarding That Email To Ten People

Factory Reject

Return to Sender

Shopped Till She Dropped

She lived each day as if it were her last… especially this one

Laid to rest
No mouring please
At his request

He lived, he loved, he laughed, he left.

Bonus: If your last text message went on your headstone, what would it say?

Not too long ago the Twitterverse had some fun with this question: If your last text message went on your headstone, what would it say?

The question appears to be first pondered by comic artist Dan McDaid, who tweeted:

Bad news: the last text you sent is what’s going on your headstone

— Dan McDaid (@danmcdaid)

He immediately responded to his own tweet: Mine is “…I’ll be up shortly”, which is optimistic to say the least

Fans quickly responded with macabre glee, and the trend spread. Here are some of the best from thousands of responses.

BTW, mine was (and I seriously did not plan this)… “Looking forward to when you guys come visit!!”

Naptime

“A nap sounds amazing rn”

— Lindsay Rosen (@lindsayrosenn)

More: Funny Tweets Like This

If looks could kill

“Oh my god she looks BAD”

accurate.

— jsmn✨ (@jukejoint_jazz)

Zoom zoom

Last Text I sent: Perfect I just started my car zoom zoom

— Erin (@Ezza78)

Hangry

Did you eat my chicken enchiladas

— Karen (@40yroldswiftie)

Eventually

“Who says I’m ever coming home again” was mine. Wife’s was “You will miss me eventually”

— Ken Henderson (@ok_eh_ko)

Live and learn

Lesson learned, I hope.

— Jana Ziegler (@jziggs228)

Do they serve cookies there?

“Hang in there, cookie.”
Actually, that’s a perfect epitaph.

— Victoria Weinstein (@peacebang)

So that’s why you won’t call me back

Ironically- “Can’t call right now, I’m buried.”

— Tony Briley (@TonyBriley)

Wait, how did it get there?

Found ur birthday present

— Master of Heads (@Fathead_on_bass)

Holding a grudge

lol: “im not still bitter about that or anything”

— Gabriela Morales (@gabymorales527)

What I wouldn’t give for a good salad

There’s no arugula in this town

— yourqueerprof (@drcompton)

It’s a one-way ticket

‘Tickets secured… we’ll leave here at 11:20.’

— Timothy Savage – timsavagewrites.com (@timsavage66)

Unsure about the menu here

“Wait, was I supposed to make the risotto in advance??”

— ? Lorraine ? (@lorrainztweetz)

Stay a while

“You can take your shoes off, we’re staying in”

— marisa curry (@marisac923)

A for Effort

“at least she made an effort.” Which is the story of my life. #Aisforeffort #tryingisthefirststeptowardsfailure

— D Fontaine (@DaniFontaine86)

Priorities

The toilet is fixed

— Michael Goldschmidt (@MGArchitect)

Not your first time visiting…

“welcome back!”

— emotionally little spoon (@therealdoxian)

r u there?

Yo are you alive?

— Johnny D. Stephens (@thathiker)

Love me that pizza

“I ordered a Hawaiian pizza if you guys want some. It just got here.”

— Wendy M. (@Wendy_burgerr)

Change of plans

“I guess the beach won’t work.” I guess not.

— Jennifer Kehs (@Dharma_worm)

Double bonus: There’s a Home Alone 2 reference in this post.

Do you have any more funny quotes for cremation urns to add to our collection? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.